


The Death of Me

by skylarose13



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Kylo Ren is a Mess, a love story in space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23817235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skylarose13/pseuds/skylarose13
Summary: The First Order attacked your city and you soon find yourself a prisoner on Kylo Rens ship. He agrees to let you free but only under one condition; he trains you. Discover the force while also being plagued with neverending thoughts of Kylo Ren, could it be your falling for him?
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren & You
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. Introduction- A City on Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so I wanna say thank you to all the support everyone on Tiktok gave me. I hope you all enjoy this story and it lives up to all the hype. I also have it listed as teen and up right now, but that can change depending on how people want the story to go. Well, hope you enjoy the introduction to this story.  
> Also just so you know this in just the introduction, so it is a lot shorter than what chapters will normally be.

The ground below you shook as the distant sound of blaster fire invaded your senses. You wondered how this could be happening, as small bits of debris fell from the ceiling. Cloud City, a place you once called home, being invaded by the First Order. The city had been under suspicion of harboring resistance fugitives, but that is no excuse for what the First Order is doing. You had never had a side when it came to the war, but you won’t just stand around and watch as your home is reduced to ashes. 

You watched from your window as blaster fire filled the night sky, fires burned around you and you felt trapped within the smoke. How could the First Order slaughter innocent people, what have any of us done to deserve this? Stormtroopers kicking at the door of your family’s droid repair shop, this was it. Is this really how you die? Another nameless casualty of the First Order; no that wasn’t how your story was going to end.

You have to do something and quick. You dash out of the room, leaving your parents alone as the stormtroopers burst into the shop. You have to find it, where was it? Suddenly a strange sensation fills your body, it was leading you somewhere. A box packed away, filled with your grandfathers’ belongings; you saw it. His lightsaber, the legendary weapon of the Jedi, was it calling to you? You grabbed the saber and blackness filled your vision, what was happening.

“The force is strong with you Y/N,” your grandfather called out to you, “don’t be so rash, everything will come to you in due time.”

“But I don’t want to wait, I want it to work now.” The voice of your younger self responded to the old man.

“You remind me of an old friend, Anakin, oh so impatient.” 

The darkness dispersed and you returned to your senses once more. Regaining your composure, you light the saber and make your way outside, it was your duty to protect Cloud City. Anger rushed through you as you took in the surroundings. Buildings crumpled to the ground, stormtroopers relentlessly gunning down those you’ve grown up with. 

Fighting with a lightsaber came easy to you, it wasn’t long before stormtroopers were aiming for you. The bright blue light from the weapon casting across your face, as you begin blocking blaster fire. Unknown to you that a greater foe was quickly approaching, and your gut told you to run. Flee as your grandfather had all those years ago; your family’s great secret exposed with every slash of the saber. It was then that you felt his presence, the fierce leader Kylo Ren, it was him. 

He watched you from a distance, taking in every movement your body made. He watched as your hair danced around you bouncing with every jab of your saber. He made no move to stop you, only following you with his stern gaze. He could feel the anger rolling off of you spilling into the ground below your feet. He took in the intensity of your force signature, your hatred jabbing into him. 

His eyes flickered away from you for the first time, landing on the lightsaber. It appeared to be screaming out in pain, its blue tones becoming more diluted by the second. Hues of purple bleeding into the once blue saber. He was awestruck by what he was witnessing, were his eyes deceiving him?

Hate was rushing through you, waves of despair crashing into as you took in the scene before you. Tears poured from your eyes; as you watched your parents get shot before your eyes. Time appeared frozen as you watched your mother collapse on the group, red rapidly staining her once white dress. With your own vision blurring from teardrops, you began to lunge at the man responsible.

It was then you noticed the saber. Its once shining blue hue, the saber that your grandfather had wielded had also been stained red. Guilt consumed you as realized, your anger and hatred it had bled the kyber crystal within; destroying your grandfather’s saber. You threw the saber away from you. Watching as it stuck the ground and the kyber crystal within breaks in two. The saber had landed between two black boots. Tearing pouring down your face you look up to see Kylo Ren, it is then you hear his voice for the first time.

“Seize her,” his voice distorted by his mask.


	2. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren has taken you prisoner on his ship and things get a little heated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy May the 4th, hope you all enjoy this newest chapter. It was a bit shorter than I had planned, but I thought I would post it anyway. Once again thanks for all the support for this story and I should have the next chapter up soon.

You wake up to a pounding in your head and a ringing in your ears. You then began to take in everything that had happened, and wonder when you fell asleep. The last thing you remember was Kylo Ren’s voice before everything went dark. You’ve gathered that you must have been taken aboard a First Order ship, but what on earth would they want from you. It was more than likely you would be punished, but why hadn’t he killed you right then. Did he want something from you? Maybe he thought you were with the resistance and he could gather information from you?

You don’t know how many hours you had been stuck in this cell, but finally, you heard footsteps approaching. Two stormtroopers took you from the cell and after walking for what seemed like miles; you had made it to your destination. The stormtroopers locked you into the interrogation chair before leaving you alone once again. It was then that you were hit with the weight of what had happened; your parents, your home it was all gone. You tried to fight them, but tears poured from your eyes once more. You were gonna die here, stuck in a metal room at the hands of some faceless monster. A coward too afraid to show his face, hiding behind a mask. 

Just then the door released and the masked figure haunting your mind entered the room. Your body once again filling with anger, this was his fault. He was the reason your parents are dead. He was the reason your town is nothing more than ashes. You could feel his gaze from behind his mask, as a painful pressure burned in your head.

“Look at you, so filled with hate,” he stepped closer and the pain in your head increased, “so much guilt.”

“Stop it! just kill me already!” You screamed at the man behind the mask. “You’re a monster, this is your fault, you did this.”

“It was your own hatred that bled the crystal, how did someone like you even come across that weapon,” he stepped away from you finally leaning against the metal wall, “I looked into you, your family runs a small droid shop on Cloud City. Now tell me where did you find it.” 

You felt it once more, his gaze, it was like he was staring at every inch of your body. You felt uncomfortable, wishing you could do something to shield your body from him. It was then that you finally took him in as well, the all power full Kylo Ren. He was tall, much taller than you. You couldn’t make out much of his body from his cloak, but from what you could it was obvious that he was toned. A part of you deep down longed to know what he looked like behind his mask. 

“The lightsaber belonged to my grandfather,” you paused looking into his mask, “when I was little he would tell me stories of the Jedi. He would always say how I was to continue what he started and to trust in the force, it would show me the way.”

It was then that you felt it again, the pressure surging through your brain, desperate to know everything that you were hiding. The pain increased until you couldn’t take it anymore. Then suddenly it was gone, replaced by a vision playing in your mind.

It was years ago, you had snuck out to go watch the ships leaving. You were rushing through Cloud City when suddenly you were cornered. One man grabbed your arms pulling them tightly behind your back, as the other one slowly stepped closer to you. Adrenaline was coursing through you, he was about to reach you when something happened that you couldn’t explain. It was like a dormant power had awoken within you, it was racing all around you. You used this power to lift a nearby rock and fling it into your assailant, allowing you to break away and run. 

* * *

“I felt it, I felt your connection to the force,” he paused, evading your mind once again but this time you resisted. He was too powerful for you though he was in again, then you felt something. It wasn’t your feelings, but his. Somehow you had peered into his mind, his feelings crashing into you.

“You, you feel guilty. It’s like you are filled with internal conflict like you might have made a mistake,” you knew you should shut up and stop talking but your mouth betrayed you, “The light it still calls to you even now, I feel it.”

“Get out!” he screamed slamming his fist into the wall before throwing his helmet to the ground in a fit of rage. 

You were paralyzed both physically and mentally. You noticed that you were holding your breath waiting for him to strike you down, but he didn’t. He looked at you and you could see the conflict flowing behind his eyes. Just as suddenly had it happened, it was gone again. Quickly replacing his helmet back onto his head before swiftly leaving you alone.

* * *

You were soon being led back to your cell once again. Trapped alone behind the metal bars were you had no choice but to ponder over what had occurred during your interrogation. The mighty Kylo Ren, his eyes haunted you while you sat in silence. He had shown you his face, out of angry yes, but why had he not killed you yet? In Cloud City, people gossiped about the fierce leader’s appearance, but you had never known someone who had ever seen him. Your mind was fixated on the scar that ran down his face? Part of you wondered how he had gotten it, who had given it to him? His eyes, so filled with pain and anguish. What had happened to him? These never-ending thoughts plagued your mind, depriving you of some very much needed sleep. Kylo Ren, he was no monster, he was human. He felt pain just as you had, somehow you could connect to him.


	3. Let Me Train You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Self isolation and strange dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update this story!!! My goal is a new chapter every week but I just haven't found myself in the mood to write lately. No need to worry though, I'm back. Please feel free to let me know how you're enjoying the story so far, thanks.

You woke up with an intense pain coursing through your body. Beginning to come to your senses, you could hear the footsteps of stormtroopers approaching. Just as yesterday, you were taken into interrogation. It felt as if the stormtroopers were dragging you along the metal halls. Your legs were jelly and you didn’t think you could walk much further. Just as luck would have it, you had arrived at the interrogation room. 

Your body was sore from the exertion it felt fighting yesterday, and your stomach begged for food. Maybe the First Order planned on starving you to death, or maybe it was some form of torture. You let yourself be consumed by your own inner thoughts. Soon you found your mind on Kylo Ren, he completely fascinated you. You knew it was foolish but some part of you wanted to know him.

Ever since you had first laid eyes on him in Cloud City he had haunted your mind. He was like some sort of legend, someone everyone knew and feared. His eyes told a different story; someone who was consumed with shame, filled with anger and denial. It was then when you heard the doors opening and he entered once again. He stood there for a few moments, seeming to be deep in thought.

“Your existence troubles me, how were you able to get inside my head. I have made sure no one would be able to do that again” Kylo asked, removing the helmet from his head.

You didn’t respond, it seemed he was asking himself more than you. You refused to look at him, knowing your thoughts would betray you if you did. Instead you focused on the metal band that locked your wrist. Those Stormtroopers made them far too tight. 

“Why are you in pain,” Kylo asked, “We haven’t tortured you.”

Your breath hitched as he spoke, this was his real voice. Not distorted by his mask, but so raw and true. You were completely speechless as he gazed at you waiting for your answer. You looked down at the restraint, unwilling to say anything. He seemed to understand you, and approached you.

You watched as his gloved hand carefully loosened the restraint, his hand grazing your skin ever so lightly as he did. He remained there almost examining every inch of you. You could feel his eyes on you, and you desperately wanted to look into them. It was then that your body had betrayed you, blushing as your stomach rumbled.

“Hmmm,” Kylo said before stepping away from you. You could have almost swarn you saw the faintest of a smirk on his face, but it was gone before you had even realized.

Kylo seemed to be thinking again. He had returned to his spot against the wall, as if everything that had just happened was totally normal. Maybe it was; was Kylo Ren trying to trick you into putting your guard down? That had to be it, a smart plan you had to admit. 

“I’m sure that cell of yours must be getting quite uncomfortable,” Kylo looked at you again, “If you agreed to work with the First Order, I would be more than willing to give you an upgrade.”

“Excuse me, what are you implying.” You were completely dumbfounded by the words that had left his mouth.

“I am implying that you let me train you,” Kylo seemed rather annoyed now. “You have demonstrated incredible strength that could greatly benefit the first order. I’m sure with training you would succumb to the dark side.”

“My grandfather warned me of the dark side, that if my abilities became known they would lure me in. He told me that was what happened with Darth Vader, he said I was very similar to the young Jedi. Very rash and impatient, never thinking five steps ahead.” You rambled while trying to find a way out of this, knowing most of what you were saying made little to no sense. “I disappointed him, and destroyed his great weapon. I don’t care about the force or this stupid war. I just want to be left alone.

Kylo just looked at you with what seemed to almost be a glare. He obviously was displeased with the answer you had given him. That being said he is Kylo Ren, he probably isn’t the type of person you say no to. Finally he replaced his helmet on his head and left the cell. He really was a man of few words.

Almost instantly after he left 2 more stormtroopers entered and took you back to your cell. The first thing you noticed when you returned was the plate of food waiting for you, maybe he did care?

As the hours dragged on you began to ponder of maybe escaping. In the end you knew that escape was next to impossible; where would you go, how could you even leave? You never learned how to fly and you didn't want to start today. 

The hours turned to days and you were left in practical isolation. You were able to look back on your life, everything that had led you to be a prisoner here. It was for moments like this that you wished you had your mother here. While she wasn’t a believer in the force, she did say that everything happened for a reason; even if it isn’t clear at the moment. If you could say one thing, everything right now was definitely not clear. 

Isolation was incredibly dull and you soon found your only entertainment in the stormtroopers. You listened to their conversations as they made their assigned routes. Whether it was delivering food to prisoners or whatever patrol they were assigned. 

“I hear Master Ren is returning today,” you overheard a Stormtrooper say as he made his patrol. “I wonder what business he had with Supreme Leader Snoke?”

That name Snoke, you had heard it before, but you never believed that he was real. No one had ever seen him, so many assumed he was just a myth. It was getting quite late and you decided it would be best to let yourself attempt sleep. After several long minutes you had drifted into sleep on your prison cot. 

* * *

You were dreaming, watching as different moments in time rushed by. You could barely make out anything as they flew past you. You could see a man calling out to someone else. The name he spoke echoed through your mind,  _ Ben _ . Soon you saw Kylo he was wounded, bleeding in the snow. 

Suddenly, you were with your grandfather reliving a memory from the past. He had taken you to a friend of his. Your grandfather told you how he trained kids like you, who were strong with the force. You remembered the man with the metal arm and the boy beside him. He was quite a bit older than you, but you remembered how nice he had been. You were only 13, but he showed you around while your grandfather met with the other man. He had told you his name all those years ago, but had forgotten it now.

It was late in the night when you awoke to Stormtroopers opening the doors to your cell. You were still half asleep when they explained you were needed in interrogation once again. Slowly began to become more aware as you sleepy walked down the metal halls. The Stormtroopers escorted you into the room, but this time they hadn’t restrained you. You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, your body facing away from the door. Your mind raced with millions of thoughts; all of which were halted when you heard the door open followed by heavy footsteps. 

Unsure of what to do with yourself, you slowly turned around to find Kylo behind you. Standing far closer than you would have expected. He was wearing his mask, part of you was almost disappointed by this. 

“I must have woken you, I have just returned from a meeting with Emperor Snoke, he is unsure what to do with you.” Kylo said through his mask.

“What is it that you want from me,” you were so confused, “why are you keeping me here? Why didn’t you kill me on Cloud City?”

Instead of answering the questions that brewed inside of you, he once again offered you a question of his own. Though now it seemed like more of a demand than a offer.

“Let me train you.”


End file.
